The Stages of Swine Flu...

It started with a wave of exhaustion. I sat in my late Wednesday afternoon kindergarten class, watching my kids scrawl all over the white board when it hit. I shook my head, surprised by how faint I suddenly felt. Something wasn’t right.
That night I woke up soaked in sweat and frigid. Despite my layers of covers I lay in a fetal position most of the night, shuddering.
In the morning I felt fine. I went to work, and the strange waves of dizziness and exhaustion struck at random times throughout the day. My temperature was a normal 36.6 Celcius.
Thursday night wasn’t as severe as the night before. I woke up only once, slightly uncomfortable with my sticky blankets.
Friday was Halloween. Although I woke up feeling what I might term as “less than chipper,” I slipped on my black cat costume and took the bus to work. I laughed at the kid’s costumes and doled out miniature snickers bars while trying to ignore how increasingly awful I felt. By lunchtime I could barely stay seated without wanting to fall asleep on the table. My back ached and I was prone to awfully scary fits of coughing. I took my temperature: 38.1 Celcius (100.5 F). I wandered over to the nearest Korean teacher and showed them the number. It was greeted with a gasp and I was ushered over to my bosses.
“We must take you to the hospital,” they decided. “Go sit in the teacher’s room until we can take you.”
I washed off my facepainted whiskers and nose and went with Anne to the hospital. After a forty minute wait, I was pushed through the conveyor belt of H1N1 checkups. The doctor spoke very good English. He called me Miss Marie (I didn’t have the heart or the cognitive abilities to correct him) and told me my throat was inflamed. He then proceeded to proscribe me several dozen medicines. Tamiflu was among them.
A nurse stuck an unpleasant swab down my throat and I gagged at least ten times before she got what she was looking for. Another nurse stuck a syringe in my thigh and slapped me. Anne picked up my medicine and took me home. I slept the rest of the day.
Saturday and Sunday were spend in various states of vegetation. Among them: sleeping, internet surfing, watching television and writing. The two times I ventured out of the apartment I was so doped up on medication that I couldn’t walk in a straight line, so I decided it would be best for my safety if I stayed inside (there are a lot of fast cars near my apartment…). Overall I felt pretty good. The Tamiflu and other pills did their work well.
This morning I was all set to go to work again (although I did sleep an hour past my alarm). I got on the bus and made it to school. I even got through my first lesson with the kids when Anne hurries up to me and ushers me into the teacher’s office.
“Ryan, you—“ she hesitates. “You have H1N1. They just gave me the results.”
She says it like its cancer.
“You have to go home now!” she urges.
I’m not going to argue when my bosses want to send me home. I packed up my purse and took the bus back. When I got back to the apartment I slept THE ENTIRE DAY. I guess I really wasn’t ready to go back to school yet.
And now that I have it, I really don’t know why Koreans (or the world for that matter) are so ridiculously paranoid about the swine flu. It’s just like any other sickness. You get it and you’ll probably get over it. That’s that.
So, I’ve still got another day of convalescing to do. Hooray for being sick and not having to go to work!